Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Stupid Weather

Posted: June 2, 2015 in Uncategorized

The weather people make too much money. For a week we were supposed to get storms. I need storms. I want my peppers to grow for cryin’ out loud.

Finally after 3 days of weathersex teasing, we get a shit ton of thunder.

No rain, just thunder. When we DID get rain it was a trickle.

It reminded me sex with my ex-husband.

Lots of buildupĀ of how great it was going to be, then a 3 second drizzle.

Old men with hats are the worst drivers on the planet. They pull out in front of you, then go -1346 mph.

They weave. They turn on the left signal to go right. The right signal to go straight, and no signal to do donuts for no reason in the middle of the road.

I think there’s something about the hat that makes them feel invincible, or maybe they just don’t give a fuck.

They’re all:

“SCREW YOU. I’m old. My prostate hurts. I haven’t had sex in 57 years, and my balls are hanging so low they are moving theĀ gas pedal.”

So they do what they please.

That’s fair. If my balls hung really low, I might be a titch bit pissy, too.