Archive for the ‘Sick’ Category

Actor: MOM! I just got a role on American Horror Story!!

Mom: OMG, that’s great! What part do you play?

Actor: I play a heroin addict that gets cornholed to death by a mummy-like creature wearing a giant strap-on drill bit!

Silence…

Actor: Mom?

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I’m tired of being sick.

One thing after another since like August…

Sinus, maybe┬ápneumonia, probably flu (but we’re not sure take this medicine anyway), lumps on my neck, ear aches, sore throat…

And that was just over my anniversary getaway weekend.

I’m so desperate I ordered stuff I consider “crunchy” like peppermint and oregano oil to take.

Thank You Amazon Prime!

Maybe my mean old (now dead) grandma was right, and I should try tying a dirty sock around my throat.