Posted: November 6, 2014 in Blog, Entertainment, Humor, Life, Marriage, Mean, Musings, Neighbors, Rants, Stories, Women
Tags: , , , , ,

My Mrs. Kravitz-like neighbor called me last night around 7:00 PM.

Neighbor: “Hey, did you see any kids running around my yard in the last hour or two?”

(YOU didn’t? All you do all day long is peep out the window all weird)  I did not say this.   Yet.

Me: No, I was curled in the fetal position on the floor most of the day.

Neighbor: “Oh, haha, well, um… all five of my pumpkins were on my porch at 3:30 PM, and all but one were gone by 6:00 PM. So someone stole them while I was in my family room, about 10 feet away.”

Me: That takes some balls.

Neighbor: “Oh, um, haha, but seriously, who steals Halloween pumpkins on November 5? The weird thing is that they left one. Just one lonely pumpkin.”

Me: Shit, that pumpkin must have felt like I did in 7th grade gym class.

Neighbor: “Always the last one picked?”

Me: No, hollow on the inside.

Neighbor: (silence) “Oh wow! Ok, then, well not sure what happened to the pumpkins, but you, uh, have a good night!”


Me: Put on jacket to steal the remaining pumpkin to add to my collection. God, I love to mess with these people.

  1. Wendy says:

    Messing with people is the only thing that makes life worth living! Mrs. Kravitz didn’t catch you, did she??

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Nope, I’m like a sneaky cat in the night 🙂


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